


The Human Concept of Gender

by Luna_Myth



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Agender Character, Alien Gender/Sexuality, Established Relationship, Friendship, Gender Identity, Genderfluid Character, I Don't Even Know, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Kissing, Love, M/M, My First Work in This Fandom, Sexuality, Sort Of, Talking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-16
Updated: 2019-07-16
Packaged: 2020-06-29 17:12:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19834825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Luna_Myth/pseuds/Luna_Myth
Summary: Angels and demons don't have genders or sexual orientations or even sometimes assigned sex, but when you've been hanging around on Earth for as long as Aziraphale and Crowley have, well, you tend to pick up on those things--at least a little bit.





	The Human Concept of Gender

**Author's Note:**

> just me thinking about how humans are dumb and aziraphale and crowley are queer and i love them with my whole heart

Aziraphale wasn’t human, but he thought he had something of a grasp on their customs, as shifting and changing as they were. One century the gavotte might be a perfectly acceptable dance, and the next it might be totally out of fashion. In one part of the world it could all well and good to hold Crowley’s hand in public, and in another it could be looked upon as a rebellious act that demanded retribution. Thankfully his bookshop was located in the former part of the world rather than the latter. 

It was with that last scenario that Aziraphale’s grasp on human customs became sketchy, for the reasoning behind the difference of human opinion lay in some rather arbitrary details. Namely, that his body was designated “male” by humanity, and Crowley’s was the same, and for some reason, certain regions of the world considered it a criminal act for two male bodies to hold hands. Or female bodies for that matter. No, for reasons that were beyond Aziraphale, some of humanity had decided to make it their business to enforce the seemingly arbitrary idea that only bodies designated male and bodies designated female were allowed to hold hands in public, and sometimes not even then. Naturally it wasn’t the actual act of holding hands that so offended them, but the abstract concepts of love or attraction behind it, but Aziraphale failed to see how that made any difference. 

At any rate, the human concept of gender was everywhere, and it affected human behavior in strange ways, and so by extension, it affected Aziraphale too whenever he was passing as human, which was most of the time. Obviously he understood that a certain combination of human anatomy was required for humans to produce more humans, but how that had spiraled off into such strange ideas as all of one type of human being aggressive or all of another being emotional was beyond him. 

Thankfully, an increasing number of humans seemed to be realizing just how strange such ideas were, and there were even humans whose gender it turned out did not match what was expected of them based on their bodies. This was different than those who agreed with the gender they’d been assigned, but acted in such a way that some humans took arbitrary offense, but no less noble, in Aziraphale’s opinion. The only trouble was not all of humanity was catching up, and in truth a conclusion had yet to be reached. 

So every so often, Aziraphale had to contend with people who had made some rather strange assumptions about him based on the human concept of gender. 

According to humanity, Aziraphale was gay. As near as he could tell, this conclusion had been reached based on two factors--first, that his human form was male in appearance; and second, that he exhibited a series of traits not typically associated with human males. He was well dressed and expressive; he was very particular in how he did things (fussy, he’d heard it called); and lastly and evidently most importantly, he had never expressed an attraction to human women. Apparently these factors marked him, if he were human, as a cisgender gay man, although according to the actual definitions Aziraphale had looked up, a number of other things could have been the case. 

**_Gay, adjective--_ ** _ of, relating to, or exhibiting sexual desire or behavior directed toward a person or persons of one’s own sex; homosexual.  _

**_Cisgender, adjective--_ ** _ noting of relating to a person whose gender identity corresponds with that person’s biological sex assigned at birth. _

Aziraphale didn’t technically have a sex or a gender (there was a distinct difference, he knew) as an angel, but operating, as it seemed everyone did, under the assumption that since his body was male he too was male, gay would mean he was attracted to men. For some reason, a lack of attraction to women was assumed to translate into an attraction to men, but evidently no one had considered the possibility that he simply wasn’t attracted to humans. Or if he had been human and attracted to them, but felt that she was not male, she could have been a straight transgender woman. In either case, Aziraphale thought it was odd, although not necessarily inaccurate, that humans assumed he was gay. 

After all, the only being in all of existence that he was attracted to  _ was _ of the same sexless source material as him. And as a human, Crowley has been assigned the same sex as him. Gender, however, was a trickier matter--tricky for humans, and even trickier for angels and demons. Aziraphale had decided to just accept that humans assumed he was male and move on with his life, but Crowley seemed to enjoy confusing people over it. The demon frequently did things to his appearance--changed his hair, wore different clothes--that resulted in people thinking--perhaps not incorrectly--that he was female, or else just not male. At some point it had been decided that human men weren’t supposed to wear open bottomed clothing such as skirts or dresses, but Crowley liked wearing them alongside other items that  _ were  _ acceptable for human males, perhaps just to confuse people. At any rate, Aziraphale thought he looked marvelous in all of them. 

Crowley strutted into the bookshop, his long legs swinging, his car keys still in hand. “What do you think, angel?” he said, spreading his hands apart and gesturing at himself. He was wearing a new outfit, Aziraphale noticed, although still in his usual muted black. A leather skirt was noticeable over dark skinny jeans and heeled boots. His jacket was the same as ever, but he was also wearing an almost sheer dark shirt with a rather bold neckline, and most surprisingly his typical skinny black tie was now a pearly shade of white. 

“Lovely,” said Aziraphale, staring at him. His face felt hot. He cleared his throat and smiled, trying to return from his musings. “Is the white tie for me?” 

“Nooo,” Crowley scoffed, putting his hands in his jacket pockets and turning his head to the side. “Wellll, maybe, but don’t go telling anyone.” 

Aziraphale reshelved the book he’d only just pulled down and came to stand beside Crowley. “Why ever not?” he asked, good humor evident in his voice. His previously serious wonderings on humanity were soon forgotten in the presence of his best friend and lover. 

“Don’t want people thinking I’ve gone soft.” 

“Really now.” Aziraphale grabbed hold of Crowley’s tie, feeling the soft fabric but not pulling on it just yet. He stood deliberately close to the demon, looking up at Crowley trying to appear unmoved without success. Although his sunglasses hide his eyes, an obvious blush crossed the bridge of his nose. “Nothing to do with the fact that uh, Above and Below would not approve?” 

Crowley scoffed again. “Heavens no. Hell no. Whichever. In fact, since you mention it, I might be tempted to tell people just to piss them off.” 

“Mm.” Aziraphale moved his hand along the tie and stepped even closer to Crowley, near enough to kiss. “Perhaps I should get some snake-themed cufflinks.” He was near enough to see Crowley’s yellow eyes widen behind the sunglasses. 

“Would you really?” 

“Of course, my dear,” said Aziraphale, and with that he finally tugged on the tie just enough to bring Crowley’s lips within reach, and he kissed him tenderly, sweetly, in a surprising contrast to the boldness with which he had approached him. After a moment, he slowly pulled away. 

Crowley’s sunglasses had slid down his nose, and he blinked at Aziraphale over them, looking confused. “Not that I’m not pleased or anything, but you don’t usually greet me like that.” 

Aziraphale was immediately flustered, and he smiled helplessly, his hands fluttering somewhat vaguely in front of him. “Oh--well, it’s just--I like your new outfit, is all.” It wasn’t a complete lie--of course he liked the outfit--but it wasn’t the complete truth either, and he could tell he wasn’t fooling Crowley for a minute. 

“Right.” Crowley continued to stare at him over his sunglasses, looking very handsome, which only flustered Aziraphale further. 

“Well, maybe I’ve been thinking about some things,” Aziraphale admitted. “Human things, odd things--I don’t want to talk about it.” He turned away and then looked back again, sneaking a glance at his beloved. 

“You sure about that, angel?” Crowley slipped an arm around Aziraphale’s waist, resting his chin on the latter’s shoulder. Ever since the world had almost ended, they’d been physically affectionate with each other, and more emotionally honest, although that was still an ongoing process. Without the same level of threat from Heaven and Hell, they’d been able to dine at the Ritz together, and finally come clean about some feelings that may or may not have been building for six thousand years. In short, they were together now, and while in some ways it felt the same as ever, it also felt much better, in Aziraphale’s opinion at least. 

Aziraphale shifted slightly, his resolve crumbling as it usually did when Crowley asked him anything twice. He took and squeezed his lover’s hand absently, his brow furrowed. 

“I was just thinking about…” He hesitated, unsure how best to explain. “So you know how humans have come up with all sorts of strange words and rituals and customs? I mean, of course you know, you’ve been here the whole time.” He laughed nervously and then continued,    
“What I mean to say is, well--I’ve been thinking about the human concept of  _ gender  _ and how it affects us. As--as an angel and a demon, obviously, we don’t really have genders, but the  _ humans  _ tend to see us as, well,  _ male _ , and it got me thinking about all these strange human concepts, and then you showed up wearing a skirt, and you really do look wonderful by the way, but really the main thing is--I was wondering if I ought to be more  _ concerned  _ about the whole thing.” 

Crowley froze completely still on Aziraphale’s shoulder. Then he slid around him, arm still around the angel’s waist, to look Aziraphale in the eyes. “Not what I was expecting you to say, angel, I’ll be honest.” Crowley looked curious now, his face inches from Aziraphale’s. He still hadn’t pushed up his sunglasses, and Aziraphale found himself enchanted by his eyes. “Do  _ you _ think you ought to be concerned?” 

“No. Maybe. I don’t know.” Aziraphale was confused, and the close proximity of the one being in the universe he was attracted to wasn’t helping. “It’s just--I’ve lived on Earth--we’ve lived on Earth--among the humans for a very long time now, and this is one thing that just doesn’t come naturally to me. Most things about the humans I’m very supportive of--obvious exceptions notwithstanding, of course--but this all seems rather complicated, don’t you think?” 

“Not really, no.” Crowley cocked his head at Aziraphale, standing in front of him now, but still touching him. “At least, I hadn’t thought it was complicated until you mentioned. Me, I just wear whatever I want and let anyone call me whatever they want and everything’s great. You’ll get no complaints about this whole gender thing from me. I’ve got it all sorted.” 

“Humans also have this other thing--attraction, sexuality, whatever you call it.” Aziraphale laughed somewhat helplessly. “Apparently it’s quite a big deal among the humans, and I hadn’t noticed. They have words for what other humans they find attractive, and  _ apparently _ if you like the wrong ones, well, some humans take offense. I just think that’s all rather strange.” 

“Yeah, yeah, I’m familiar with it,” Crowley said, his brow furrowed. “It is pretty weird, but tell me, what does all that have to do with you kissing me?” 

“Well.” Aziraphale started to make a gesture and found he was still holding Crowley’s hand. He shook his head and smiled, confused but pleased. “Obviously I’m attracted to you, and obviously it’s a bit of a strange case by human standards, us being supernatural beings and not humans after all, but I was thinking, well--humans place a great deal of importance on the gender of their partner, for some reason, and I just wanted to confirm, that is--” Aziraphale put his hands on either side of Crowley’s face and kissed him very quickly before the demon could catch up. “I’m just attracted to you, my dear. No one else, and in whatever form you take, although I’d prefer not to kiss you as a snake.” 

“Yeah,” said Crowley, somewhat stunned. He blinked and pushed his sunglasses back up with his free hand. “Yeah, no, I don’t much fancy kissing in snake form either. Wouldn’t be any fun anyways. Snakes have a terrible sense of touch. No lips, you know.” 

“Don’t make me regret being attracted to you,” said Aziraphale, but he was smiling rather brilliantly. “Now come along, my dear. Weren’t we going somewhere?” 

He turned to exit the shop, dragging Crowley along by their entwined hands, and his lover made a surprised gawking noise as he stumbled after him. 

“Yeah, we were. Don’t go acting like  _ I’m _ the one who got us off task--that was all you.” 

“Was it now? I don’t recall.” 


End file.
